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"California saga"
by The Beach Boys
#SaturdayStoryTime
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****************** ""The Long Dirty Weekend"" ( Part Two ) **********

(Recap from Part One!.....)

.......Barely turned 17 in 1972
.......Gone missing for 5 days
.......Hitch-hiking in the dark
.......Charged by police
.......Gate crashed Monty Python's rehearsals
.......Sharing a tent with a motorcycle gang

.............NOW READ ON!................


........As you would expect, by 3am, the bikers & our own little posse were all in a euphoric state of mental merriment but we were a little TOO relaxed, giving these wretched ruffians plenty of playful lip. They could’ve quite easily slit our throats for that but they just seemed to admire our nerve & kinda …’adopted’ us. They disassociated themselves from Hells’ Angels, calling themselves ‘Mofos’. Not a criminal outlaw gang but only interested in riding & partyin’ …”hard”, they emphasized!
Well, they didn’t convince me. I would’ve put money on this bunch of vagrant savages getting one over the Angels if only by the way they looked. The next day, the whole gang went walkabouts & I couldn’t believe the looks of panic & fear on the faces of the revellers who parted like the Red Sea at our approach.
I’m a touch ashamed to admit that I got a buzz from that , so slipping to the very front of the throng, I began this ridiculously exaggerated swagger, like a camp John Wayne with haemorrhoids, perfectly in time to Lindisfarne up on stage singing “We can swing together” “Look at me!!” I thought “ You all think I’m a Hells’ Angels’ mascot, don’t you?”
Party night part two & we had a rude awakening from the local bobbies, shining torches into our faces & forcefully frisking one & all
2 of the mofos were brutally dragged away & my pals scarpered, thinking things were getting’ a little too heavy but I waited, awake ‘til the rain stopped. Slipping out at dawn while the mofos slept, I began a futile 8 hour search for my pals. Hungry, dirty & exhausted, I just keeled over, collapsing into a sea of mud….and fell asleep. I even rolled over into the squelchy gunge, making the perfect mud roly-poly & I remember passers-by prodding me to see if I were alive…..

I was put up by a kind couple that night during yet another apocalyptic rainfall while The Beach Boys outside sang of sunshine , warm breezes & joy. I spent most of the final day ( Monday) with a girl from Leeds who was on her own & she generously offered shelter for me that night in her tent.... What WAS she thinking?? I mean, it looked like she was sharing with the filthiest, most horrifying surviving specimen of a nuclear holocaust ….but then perhaps she was blind & I just didn’t notice…..

The final set of the whole festival was Joe Cocker & during (yet another) massive mud fight, I somehow managed to lose the ‘blind girl from Leeds’ but being born lucky, I found a dry discarded sheet of plastic which I slept on that night under the taunting stars but at least for once, it didn’t rain, thank God.

Early Tuesday morning & I found my mates on the train going home & funny but I EASILY got a seat this time. No one even came NEAR me....and I wondered if it was because I looked exactly like the creature from the Black Lagoon encased in the thickest, darkest, cracked mud from my barnet to the bottom of my loon pants.
There was just one memory (that I’d rather forget) from that drowsy, train journey back…. One of my mates who was about six seats away shouted to me in a loud but serious manner…” Hey Dave!!….. Is it Saturday when you have your appointment at the VD clinic?”
That comment came so suddenly, unexpected & loud that I was stumped for a witty response. I just sat there glowing red & flustered while all the strangers around me squirmed in their seats trying desperately to control their giggling.
Mates, eh??...........

Tuesday noon & I dragged my weary body from my local bus stop to be met by my mum who stifled a scream at the mere sight of me & the state I was in. She then, understandably, became angry & tearful, saying she was about to call the local cops
I groaned at that… “Aahh, thank GOD you didn't!!!.... I couldn’t handle having to face the police for a THIRD time in one weekend!!!” I said to her.
……..............and then wished I hadn’t…



***...For anyone interested in the line-up, here's the poster..... ( Just look at the price...£4.50 for a 4 day festival!!!) =D
http://s0.geograph.org.uk/geophotos/03/47/03/3470396_80c506a6.jpg





1972
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